The discrimination against women marrying younger
men in the society has led some women in the Federal
Capital city of Abuja to protest.
Speaking to the News Agency of Nigeria in Abuja,
some women in the FCT, on Thursday, decried
discrimination in Nigeria against women marrying
younger men.
Some of the women alleged that they had been
discriminated, judged and labelled “sugar mummy” for
their marriage to men they are older than.
A businesswoman identified as Esther David, said she
was five years older than her husband, who is also into
the same provision business with her.
She said her decision to marry her husband was borne
out of love, admiration and respect she had for him,
and not because she was desperate to get married as
alleged by some persons.
“Our society tends to judge women negatively for
marrying younger men, even if that relationship was
borne out of love and respect for each other.
“But the same society sees nothing wrong if a man
marries someone that he is old enough to even be her
grandfather,” she lamented.
According to her, she faced a lot of challenges from
her in-laws due to the age difference before she was
accepted as his wife, despite performing the
traditional, Christian and even the court wedding.
A mother of two, Bose Ade, said even though she was
eight years older than her husband, whom she has
been married to for over a decade, her being older had
not affected the love, affection and respect they had
for each other.
“At first, it was very difficult for me to accept his
marriage proposal because I was far older than him
with over eight years.
“But I was later convinced by his persistence and
support from his family that he was not dissuaded by
our age differences,” Mrs. Ade said.
However, she added that even though she was
accepted by her in-laws, she still faces discrimination
from some of his relatives and in the neighbourhood
they reside in.
According to her, she ignores all the subtle attacks on
her person, urging other women that are facing similar
challenges to ignore gossip and concentrate on
building their homes.
“I don’t have problem with in-laws, it is just some
distant relatives of his and people in our area who still
gossip and call me names like old woman, and all
sorts because he looks younger than I do.
“I ignore them and make sure I exhibit love and
affection for my husband just to spite them.”
However, Fatima Musa, an unemployed graduate said
she cannot marry a younger man because the society
would see her as “desperate’’ and she may not get the
respect she deserves from him.
“Women naturally look older than men. So if you marry
someone younger in age, one might end up looking
like his mother or elder sister than his wife, especially
when one starts bearing children.”
On his part, Idris Samaila said there was nothing wrong
in a woman marrying a man she is older than, as long
as mutual trust, respect and love exists between them.
“Age is just a figure that people put so much emphasis
on. It does not matter if a woman is older than her
husband or the husband is older than the wife as it is
commonly practiced in our society.
“The main issue we should be concerned about is how
to build our homes within the tenets of our religious
believes, as well as sharing love and understanding,”
Mr. Samaila posited.
He said the fear of marrying a younger man by some
women who feel the age difference might bring
disrespect between them, was uncalled for, as respect
was earned.
“The claim that marrying a younger man would make
him disrespectful to one in the future is a flimsy
excuse, because I have seen instances where a
matured man marries a woman like his daughter’s age
mate and she still does not have respect for him.’’
He said Nigerians should encourage the sanctity of
marriage within the religious or traditional belief so as
to reduce the rate of illegitimate children in the society.
